Note: I’ve had this drafted (with only minor modification) since late 2024 intending to release it in gun violence awareness month. However recent events have prompted me to bring forward its release, especially because the Queensland Government is not going to participate in the gun buyback. I was raised on a farm in North Queensland, and although my father had many guns, including a WWII 303 and other rifles, not once did I see any used for legitimate reasons on the farm. The only time I witnessed a gun being fired on our farm was a pistol, as my father was a member of a pistol club, and that was inappropriate even at the time. Given my life experience, as discussed in this video, I am urging all Governments and especially the Queensland Government to have greater political courage in developing appropriate safeguards for the protection from gun violence and wellbeing of farming families.
June is Gun Violence Awareness month in the US. Australia is fortunate to have much lower levels of gun violence but it is a situation that cannot be taken for granted, especially since gun manufacturers are always keen to expand markets and are involved with politicians who seek to foment division and distrust.
When I was just 15, I was both a victim of gun violence and a hero for my family in saving us from domestic violence. But the consequences of this event have been deeply impactful on my mental health and on my family relationships.
Many who experience very traumatic events in their life find sharing that experience openly an important aspect of their recovery because it provides hope that through their educational efforts others will be saved from experiencing similar events.
That is the greatest reason why I have been so open about the events of my life and especially of my early life.
In this video I provide full context on this very traumatic incident of gun violence to highlight how it should never be trivialised – whatever the agenda – and to provide an insight on my own journey to deal with the trauma it caused in the hope of inspiring others to overcome their own fears.
(Please excuse my shaking hand as my blood pressure increased through the video.)
I also felt strongly about speaking publicly on my experience of gun violence because, being raised in rural Australia in northern Queensland, I was surrounded by propaganda aimed at justifying and increasing gun ownership with ridiculous narratives like “the Government’s aims are always to disarm civilians so we can’t fight back”. Hearing my father continue to spout that rubbish while knowing how dangerous it is to have such ready access to these weapons, because of his very own actions, deepened my trauma and made me feel even more unsafe. And it confirmed for me that Australia needs to stay vigilant against rightwing propaganda and gun manufacturers’ efforts to weaken gun laws while being ready to update and enhance gun restrictions when circumstances require it.
My father has viewed this video. It was relayed to me that his recollection was that his intention was to only take his own life, which is understandable as over the past 40 years he has had to find a way to live with his actions on that traumatic evening. I have consistently stated that I have hoped that he has forgiven himself, and I have stressed that real forgiveness – as opposed to the ineffectual form which is maintained by continuing denial and avoidance of key aspects – can only by achieved by being open to the full truth.
In a telephone conversation, before I shared the video with my family, my brother explained his view of Dad’s intentions as Dad wanting to scare us, so clearly he has lived those 40 years believing that his safety was threatened by Dad that evening. And Mum developed a neurotic need to hide within the house anything that she believed could be picked up and used as a weapon against her.
As for me, one evening in my late 20s when I visited Mum and Dad alone, I became extremely anxious and fixated on the possibility that Dad might enter my room through the night to kill me. Unable to sleep at all, I placed pillows under the sheet on the bed so as to look like I was lying there while I had pulled out a mattress and was lying on the floor beside the bed on the far side from the door watching it all night.
I realised that, whereas before it my father’s presence provided me a level of physical security, after that traumatic incidence of gun violence I never slept under the same roof as my father again without feeling a level of anxiety that he might hurt me even if it took many years for me to recognise that anxiety. As I have worked through the psychological issues around that trauma, I have realised that most likely my father’s deep, subconscious intentions were to scare us about his unpredictable, darker side to introduce psychological distance between himself and those closest to him as well as to warn us of the potential consequences to challenging him.
Sadly, for all of us, none more than him, Dad certainly succeeded in scaring us.
If this video brings forward strong emotions for you, please seek additional help.
Lifeline – Beyond Blue – Head Space – Gotcha4Life
This is my new poem “Sanguinity” meaning a state of looking forward with optimism especially from a bad or difficult situation or period.
I thought about titling it “New Beginnings” but the reality is that my new beginning began 35 years ago when I met my wife …
“Closure” would only reflect the struggle and pain and not the ultimate …
light and love 
I have written another post entitled “Becoming The Person I Was Never Shown How To Be: On emotional immaturity, trauma, barriers and estrangement” which is a definitive (and long) case study on how such trauma plays out in real life to destroy families, but which I need to sit with for a while longer before releasing (since this video was released earlier than I anticipated) …
Please support my work by sharing.
© Copyright Brett Edgerton 2026
MacroEdgo 
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